Tip 13: Honor your feelings in whatever you choose to do.

Linda Fortune

Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent Feline.

What I’ve Learned through My Experiences with Loss and Grief

Tip 13: Honor your feelings in whatever you choose to do.

Welcome!

While I have been sharing the many things that I have as tips at the top of each blog, here are a few other things that I would like to say about grief and loss. To be honest, I  feel that I was rather ignorant as to how to care for the passage of an aninal at the beginning of my adult years with Revel. At that time I thought more along the lines of the “pet” mode and was not in touch with how to honor him or the depth of my feelings when he passed. I had taken good care of him, had prepared the best I could for his passage, had buried him in my back yard, and had cried in the arms of a dear friend. But, I did not know how to honor his passage or deal with my own intense feelings. I tended to put all this aside and carry on with life. A deeper understanding and expression has come with my experience of Regal.

I think I was influenced to have this more nonchalant way of coping with death because of my father’s stance. He was more into remembering a person as they were when alive and did not participate in the grieving process or celebration of a life when someone passed. As I look back on it now, maybe that was his way of protecting himself from the depth of grief. Anyway, I admired my father and, sorry to say, I took on his demeanor for a time.

What I would say now is that it is very important to honor the feelings that arise when an animal friend passes, both in terms of celebrating the animal’s life and one’s own feelings. Love is love and it arises in our hearts maha big time with our animals. Their unconditional love, their complete acceptance of us, and their ability to forgive and be with us, despite our sometimes thoughtlessness, has a profound impact on us. Our hearts open as we are touched by their love and we need to recognize and honor these feelings that arise when they pass on.

Some may say “It was just a pet” and minimize our feelings of grief. I say, let us recognize and honor our animal friend who was filled with love for us, understand that our own feelings of grief are a reflection of the depth of love that existed between us, and take whatever action we deem helpful to recognize, honor, and celebrate both our animal friend and our own love.

Next Entry: Tip 14 and The Common Emotions Associated with a Loss.

With blessings, Linda

Christmas and New Year Good Wishes and a suggested perfect gift for the ani

Tip 12 — Pay attention to lessons offered

Linda Fortune Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent Feline

Regal’s gift…my inner shift.

Tip 12: Pay attention to the lessons offered.

Welcome,

As I said previously, writing Regal’s life story turned out to be an incredible experience and offered me an opportunity of a lifetime. A profound inner shift has taken place for which I am very grateful.

This inner shift has been an opening within me. Not only have I come to a deeper understanding of animals, the variety and depth of their feelings, and the reality of their spiritual natures, but I have become more aware of the interconnectedness and magnificence of all life. I have had the experience of recognizing the divine that exists in all things. And, this did not happen through my mind but through the recognition of my heart.

I became very aware of this shift when I would come upon an animal while on a walk around the neighborhood. I came to look at animals differently. All mental activity in the form of judgmental thoughts simply ceased. Rather, a surge of love would swell from within. In essence, I became more present to animals than ever before. I have become more conscious of the oneness of all life and I have been changed because of it.

In short, because of my experience with Regal and writing her story, I see animals through different eyeglasses. My perception has shifted and I cannot think of an animal as “just a pet” anymore. Animals are great beings and deserve recognition and respect!

Next Entry: Tip 13 and Regal’s Passage

With blessings, Linda

My take on California’s Prop 2 election vote

Linda Fortune Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent FelineMy take on California’s Prop 2 election vote.

Welcome,

Before I continue with my blog on Regal’s gift….my inner shift, I just have to extend my joy and salute the people of California, The Humane Society of the United States , Oprah Winfrey, and all the people who worked on passing Proposition 2 in California. While this blog speaks to the profound impact that animals have on us, addresses the grief we can feel with their passage, and recognizes the gifts they bring, I am equally concerned about the mistreatment of any animal, their suffering, and the grief we feel with any abuse of animals.

Proposition 2, passed on November 4th by the citizens of California, will stop the worst abuses of factory farming. It will stop the confinement of farm animals to limited spaces for the duration of their lives. For that, I salute all those who worked diligently to pass this proposition. Let me quote directly from Wayne Pacelle’s blog on November 5, 2008:

“Giving farm animals a little extra room to stretch their limbs, to move like animals should, is a small matter for us humans. But it’s a very big thing for a hen who would otherwise be confined with a half-dozen other birds in a cage about as big as a filing cabinet for her whole life. It’s a really big thing for a sow who would otherwise be stuck in a crate so small she can’t turn around. It’s a way big thing for a calf who would spend life chained inside a miserably tiny crate.

Prop 2 will phase out those inexcusable confinement systems and usher in a new era. No state in the U.S. and no Agribusiness titan anywhere in the nation can overlook this mandate: people do not want their farm animals treated with wanton cruelty.”

I feel very deeply about how animals are treated in whatever setting they live with us. Having become acutely aware of animal feelings, intelligence, and spiritual natures as I was writing Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent Feline, I have come to an increased deep sense of responsibility, that we humans have, in the compassionate care of all our world’s animals. The passage of Prop 2 in California is a major step in the recognition of this responsibility. It signals a dawning in the raising of our human consciousness.

I totally concur with Wayne Pacelle again when he states “As a result, you’ve brought forth a new, more compassionate age.” I say, let us all continue this work of compassionate care of all animals and learn to see the magnificence of all animals as we learn to live more ‘in the present’ with them. This will not only enrich their lives but our own as well.

Next entry: Tip 12 and Regal’s gift…my inner shift.

With blessings, Linda

Tip 11 — Regal’s Profound Impact on Me

Linda Fortune
Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent FelineRegal’s Profound Impact on Me

Tip 11: Animal friends bring us incredible gifts!

Welcome!
Revel’s life and passage was very touching for me but Regalita’s life and passage seemed to be even more profound if that were possible. Maybe, the impact of her life was really more of a culmination of all the benefits I had received from all my animal friends. In any case, I am deeply touched by her presence in my life. The impact of it all became very apparent during the writing of her life story.

During the course of our years together, my own personal awareness and understanding about animals was growing and expanding. I reveled in the adventures that we had and in the deep bond that developed between us. During this time, an inner shift of opening was gradually in process, below the radar, even with my already open heart to animals.

Then, during the course of writing her delightful story, “Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent Feline“, I became acutely aware and more observant about Regal in particular and animals in general. I experienced an explosion of love within as I wrote her story that had me soaring for a period of over two years. It was an amazing experience during the intense time of coping with her passage and lasted for the duration of writing her biography.

Next entry: Tip 12 and Regal’s gift…my inner shift.

With blessings, Linda

Tip 10 — How I Handled Revel’s Passage

Linda Fortune
Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent FelineHow I Handled Revel’s Passage

Tip 10: Take time to prepare yourself by sharing your feelings.

Several tender moments stand out in my memory of my last days with Revel. Each of us can choose to be with our animal friends in whatever way that makes us feel the most comfortable and complete. And, spending this caring, meaningful time is important to both human and animal alike. Not only can we feel more complete and gain relief in sharing our feelings but it is also important to understand that the animal will receive and know the love in our hearts. How we spend this time is very important.
During the last week or so, I chose to feed Revel the very special foods that he seemed to especially enjoy. The ground beef was his favorite. We also spent quite a bit of time in the meditation room as I shared with him, in great detail, about how much I treasured him in my life. I remembered and shared all the memorable moments we had. We both benefited. I could tell he loved it there and so did I. He would lie against my chest and snuggle as I would say everything that I needed to say from my heart. I felt a lot of joy with the affirmed memories. My meditation mantra would play in the background. It seemed he would revel in the chanting, the physical closeness, and the love in my voice. I could see and feel his comfort in our closeness and the mantra gave me great comfort too.
Thankfully, a dear friend offered to drive Revel and I up to the vet’s office on the designated day. This was particularly important to me because I could hold Revel in my arms for his final journey. I placed my headphones on Revel’s head and was able to hold them in position so that he could hear the chanting of the mantra. He seemed to sway in concert with the chanting and I felt no tension or discomfort in his body whatsoever.
With the vet’s help, Revel passed peacefully as I continued my vigilant touch and the meditation mantra played in his ears. The ease at which he passed gave me some comfort and being able to be totally present was also comforting. I felt that I had done my duty. I was there with him to the end.
I then placed Revel in a container filled with his favorite toys and his blanket. I had prepared a spot in my back yard for his burial and placed him there. It felt good to have him there under the apple tree and close. Thankfully, a dear friend came by and I was able to cry being held in loving arms. I sobbed uncontrollably for a short while which released a great deal of emotion. As my tears subsided, I knew everything was/would be fine. I loved that Revel! We had shared 16 ½ years together and I rested in knowing that I had done right by him!

Next: Tip 11 and Regal’s Profound Impact on Me

With blessings, Linda

Tip 9 –Preparation for Revel’s Passage

Linda Fortune
Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent FelinePreparation for Revel’s Passage.
Tip 9: The passage of an animal friend affords us the opportunity to grow and act through love and tender care.

Welcome!
In the midst of all the wonderful feeling of connection as I cared Revel and Regal, I eventually had to come to terms with what was in their best interest and plan their passages. Never having been responsible for that part of the experience with any of my other pets when I was a child, I eventually sought practical advice from my vets, created my own ways of spending our last days together, and then relied upon my meditation practice for strength and guidance. During the course of these two experiences, I have grown in my ability to handle grieving, saying goodbye, and honoring the passage.
The hardest question for me to deal with was the issue of euthanasia. My upbringing raised a serious question about it. One day I was listening to a talk by my spiritual teacher. A reference was made to this issue and, although I cannot now remember exactly what was said, I do remember that I felt relief. It was a permission giving statement that allowed me to consider that option if it was in the best interest of my animal friend. I did not want any animal friend to suffer unnecessarily if that were the situation.
Well, that time did eventually come for Revel. Having become gradually blind, losing all control of his functions, and waiting probably about three weeks longer then recommended by the vet, I finally was able to make the decision to let Revel go. This was one of the hardest decisions that I had ever made and I had resisted the advice of my vet for a number of days. I finally was able muster the courage for the benefit of Revel.

Next Entry: Tip 10 and How I Handled Revel’s passage.

With blessings, Linda

Tip 8 –Intense and Emotional Passages

Linda Fortune
Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent FelineIntense and Emotional Passages

Tip 8: Some passages can be especially emotional and difficult because of the deep bond and love between an animal and their human.

Welcome!
Due to the many years of living together in the intimate place called home, I got very close to both Revel and Regal. We were constant companions whether at home or traveling in the RV. It was only natural that coping with Revel and then Regal’s passages proved to be much more intense and emotional then my earlier childhood losses. Not only enjoying them during their playful years, I lived with them through their aging process. Being their primary nurse and caretaker as they aged and developed their own health issues, our relationships became even deeper, more intimate, and filled with still more love during these important and meaningful times.

Both their passages brought deep grief and, thankfully, friends let me express my emotions and understood the intensity of my feelings. They, too, are all animal lovers and have experienced the same kind of grief. I’m sure that those of you who are reading this blog know exactly what I am talking about. You’ve been there and have felt the pain of loss too.

Thankfully, we all do recover with the help of time. Then, hopefully, we open our hearts once again to the joy of an animal friend and the unconditional love they bring us. I’ve often wondered if that is not their ultimate purpose in coming – to help us keep our hearts open and teach us about unconditional love. Anyway, that’s why we feel their loss so deeply.

I feel so enriched by what my all animal teachers have given me during their lives and then for what they have taught me about grief and loss through their passing. We can all be so grateful for our animal presences in my lives despite the difficult parts.

Next entry: Tip 9 and Preparation for Revel’s passage

With blessings, Linda

Tip 6– Our animals need attentive protection when living in the city

Linda Fortune

Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent FelineAdult and in the City

Tip 6: Our animals need attentive protection when living in the city.

Welcome!

As an adult, I moved to the city and realized that taking on the responsibility of having a pet in that environment would create a much different scene from the one in the country. I lived on a busy street and so my first pet, a silver miniature poodle that I named Revel, was kept in the yard or house except when I took him for walks with a leash or let him run free when at the beach or in the woods. After Revel, a cat that I later named Regal found me. Finding that I did not have much choice in her decision to be with me, this very strong presence of Catness came to live with me. To be with me, Regal had to give up her freedom. She became an indoor cat except when I took her – or rather when she took me – out for walks utilizing a halter and leash.

Living in the city set up a different scenario regarding their longevity. I found that with my greater protection, both Revel and Regal lived very long rich lives. During those wonderful years, we became fast friends and very close. Our relationships were tight, committed, and very mutual. I have since found out that outdoor cats usually live on the average between 3 to 5 years while indoor cats can live up to 20 plus. Those numbers certainly fit my experience.

Because of our closeness, their passages were much more difficult to deal with. The mutual bond was incredible.

Next Entry: Tip 7 and Intense and Emotional Passages

With blessings, Linda

Tip 5- Cats who live outdoors usually live much shorter lives then indoor c

Linda Fortune Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent Feline

Childhood Cats
Tip 5: Cats who live outdoors usually live much shorter lives then indoor cats.

Welcome!

Since we lived in the country, all of our cats were outdoor pets for the most part and had the run of the countryside. Each animal, Figaro, Little Lord Lovely, Mamma, and Mamma’s Boy, became very important to me as we spent time together and they always responded to my engaging energy. I remembering training them as kittens to use the flower garden for their business, sharing the responsibility of taking care of them with my brother and sister, calling them to dinner, “Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty”, and playing for hours on end with them outside. They spent most of the day outside and would come inside sometimes during the evenings.

Sadly to say and, which I thought was normal at the time, our cats’ presence in our lives only lasted for a matter of a few years. You see, living in the country and being independent and free, they were out and about in the fields and crossing the road every day as they went about their adventurous lives. Then at some point, they would not come home. Their disappearances were often unexpected and I was always left with that unanswerable question as to what happened to them. They seemed to come into our lives with much joy but they left in silence and without any warning. I always experienced heartache and tears for a number of days when one did not show up again. On one occasion – I learned much later – my brother did try to protect me by hiding the remains of one of my cats, Little Lord Lovely, who had been hit by a car or logging truck and lay on the side of the road.

As I said those first weeks of disappearance were always very difficult. I would call and call hoping to hear a response and have my animal friend show up for dinner as usual. My heart would ache with the loss of their presence and then a final acceptance would come, and life moved on.

Lucky for us, we usually acquired another feline fairly soon and the whole love journey started all over again.

From there, I grew up and finally went off to college. During that time I had no pets but resumed my animal connection as an adult when I bought my first home.

Next: Tip 6 and Adult and in the City.

Blessings, Linda