Tip 13: Honor your feelings in whatever you choose to do.
Linda Fortune
Author of Regal: An Intimate View of One Magnificent Feline.
What I’ve Learned through My Experiences with Loss and Grief
Tip 13: Honor your feelings in whatever you choose to do.
Welcome!
While I have been sharing the many things that I have as tips at the top of each blog, here are a few other things that I would like to say about grief and loss. To be honest, I feel that I was rather ignorant as to how to care for the passage of an aninal at the beginning of my adult years with Revel. At that time I thought more along the lines of the “pet” mode and was not in touch with how to honor him or the depth of my feelings when he passed. I had taken good care of him, had prepared the best I could for his passage, had buried him in my back yard, and had cried in the arms of a dear friend. But, I did not know how to honor his passage or deal with my own intense feelings. I tended to put all this aside and carry on with life. A deeper understanding and expression has come with my experience of Regal.
I think I was influenced to have this more nonchalant way of coping with death because of my father’s stance. He was more into remembering a person as they were when alive and did not participate in the grieving process or celebration of a life when someone passed. As I look back on it now, maybe that was his way of protecting himself from the depth of grief. Anyway, I admired my father and, sorry to say, I took on his demeanor for a time.
What I would say now is that it is very important to honor the feelings that arise when an animal friend passes, both in terms of celebrating the animal’s life and one’s own feelings. Love is love and it arises in our hearts maha big time with our animals. Their unconditional love, their complete acceptance of us, and their ability to forgive and be with us, despite our sometimes thoughtlessness, has a profound impact on us. Our hearts open as we are touched by their love and we need to recognize and honor these feelings that arise when they pass on.
Some may say “It was just a pet” and minimize our feelings of grief. I say, let us recognize and honor our animal friend who was filled with love for us, understand that our own feelings of grief are a reflection of the depth of love that existed between us, and take whatever action we deem helpful to recognize, honor, and celebrate both our animal friend and our own love.
Next Entry: Tip 14 and The Common Emotions Associated with a Loss.
With blessings, Linda
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